Oh Benji where are you?
by Indythrift
Summary: LOOSELY based on the Oddyssey and or Oh brother where art thou? I wrote it for school. Please R&R!


Disclaimer-I don't own the Odyssey! Or anything of that nature! 

"Benji! Honey!? Could you run to the store for me?". The large lump stirred on the couch "Ben-ji!" the shrill voice called again. Benji rolled over onto his back and yawned. His mother stamped into the living room and opened the blinds, Benji hissed as the light hit him "Oh be quiet! You're not a vampire!" his mother said. "Get up, get up get up! I need you to run to the store!" Benji had fallen asleep again "NOW! You've laid on this couch all summer, you need to get out of the house!". Benji opened one eye lazily "Why don't you go?"he asked groggily. "Because I'm not the one who's been lying on this couch like a lump all SUMMER!" she fumed. "Fine, fine! You don't have'ta yell."sighed Benji as he sat up and scratched himself. "Here's my list."said his mom as she shoved it in front of his face. He took it from her hand and read it aloud, "Milk, eggs, bread, cheese. Is this it?" he asked. "Yes, that's it."his mom said as she handed him some money. Benji slowly got up and headed for the door.

Benji was tall and slender, with tousled black hair. He was of the punk crowd with quite a few piercings and spiked wristbands, he sported a Good Charlotte t-shirt and red and black Converse shoes. His wallet chain chinked lightly as it slapped his thigh as he walked, also he was constantly hitching up his baggy blue jeans. His leather pyramid belt was quite pointless. He lived in a type of neighborhood that few people would want to venture into but Benji was comfortable in it. He didn't mind the drug dealers on the corner, the trash lining the gutters or the strays dogs that ran the street. It was home to him. What did bother him though was Officer Homer McPride, the local policeman. He followed Benji around whenever he could, just waiting for him to mess up. Benji wasn't a bad kid, he just looked like one.

Benji strode along, with his hands behind his head looking up at the sky. As he walked he did not notice the blind old man happen across his path, and ran right into him. Startled, he came out of his own little world "Oh my gosh! Are you alright!?" he quickly bent over and helped the old man up, but he seemed to be reaching for something. Just then Benji noticed the long white cane laying on the ground nearby and quickly grabbed it and handed it to the man. "Oh thank you young master."the frail old man said "I'm so sorry sir. I hope you're not hurt!" said Benji "I should have been looking where I was going." "Bah! It's fine, young master! Most people don't care about and old man like me and don't bother if I fall, but you! You are quite kind, young master and kindness must be rewarded! Quickly give me your hand! I will predict your future!". Benji just looked at the strange old man quizzically "Quickly, young master!". Benji reluctantly gave his hand to the old man. He took it into his own and squeezed it "Ah yes! YES! You will come along to beautiful women! Yes, singing women, a...Garage band if you will. There music will be sweet and tempting. But you must not go! It is for your own good. Do NOT be drawn in! ...... Yes, yes...you mustn't go to the market store on the corner of Stark Ave. and Green Blvd.! A great evil awaits! Oh yes, a great evil....that is all."the old man released Benji's hand. "Uh, thanks..."said Benji as he rubbed his hand gingerly. He tuned to walk away "Beware! Beware!" the old man chanted after him, Benji turned around, but the old man was nowhere to be seen. Benji was slightly startled but he shrugged it off and walked on.

As he was on his way again he felt uneasy, like someone was following him. He sped up his pace, and turned a corner, running into another man. Benji watched as Officer McPride rolled slowly by with his three dogs barking uncontrollably. After he past he suddenly remembered that he had run into someone else. He quickly looked up, _and up!_ A huge man stood before him, he was carrying a briefcase and had a patch over one eye. He held out his large hand to Benji "Need some help?" he asked. Benji smiled and took his hand and stood up "I'm so sorry! My head must be in the clouds or something! You're the second person I've run into today!". The one eyed man just smiled "No problem ma' boy! No problem at all! The names Paul! Nice ta' meet ya'." he addressed Benji in a Southern accent "I'm just down here tryin' to sell these here fancy car emergency kits. But I'm have'n a mighty hard time, seein' as you folks don't seem to have cars! Haw, haw, haw!" his large belly rumbled as he laughed. Benji was not amused "What's the matter boy? Can't take a joke?!"he slapped Benji hard on the back, almost knocking him over "Say! I wouldn't interest you in some of these here emergency flares eh? Ya' jus' light this end and it glows nice and bright so's nobody goes and hits ya', while yer pulled over. Eh, eh?!" Benji shook his head. "Aw well your loss I guess! Haw haw haw!" Paul went on his way laughing. As he went. "_What strange people I've met today_" thought Benji as he went on his way.

When he finally reached the store, Benji was startled to see that it was the one the old man had warned him about. He stopped and thought for a moment, the next store was over three miles away! Benji shrugged, he was never one to believe in superstition so he headed into the convenient store.

As he entered he immediately noticed Paul trying to sell his "Fancy Car Emergency Kits" and "Flares" to the clerk, he also noticed a suspicious looking man dwelling around the lighters and such, Benji paid no heed and took out his mother's list and began to shop.

When he was finished with his shopping he got in line behind the strange man he had noticed earlier, also watching Paul try to sell his merchandise. Suddenly the man pulled a gun "EVERY ONE PUT YOUR HANDS UP!" he shoved past Paul to the counter "PUT ALL THE MONEY IN THE BAG!". The small Asian clerk frantically put everything in the bag. The robber snatched the money and a hand full of Paul's flares and lit them. He quickly hurled them at the small group as he ran out the door. Benji let out an exasperated sigh, but quickly tensed up again as he saw the long lit flare protruding from Paul's good eye "DEAR GOD! CALL 911!" he screeched. Just then Officer McPride burst trough the door his eyes burning with anger as he saw the dumbfounded Benji standing there.

Benji rubbed his sore wrists as he walked out of the police department, "That Officer Mc Pride just erks me!" his mother said as they descended the small flight of stairs, "You were right honey, he does have something against you! I bet..."Benji just nodded at his mother's rambling. He looked up, and there was Officer Mc Pride glaring at him through the window of the Police Department.

As they walked Benji started to hear rock music. As they walked further it seemed to get louder, Benji seemed to drawn to it. When they reached it's source, Benji found it was a girl rock band, he loved the music he started towards the building, not paying heed to the old man's warning. But before he got close to them his mother ran over and grabbed him by the ear "Ohhhhh, no! You've gotten into enough trouble today!" The girls in the band giggled as they watched Benji being dragged away by his mom.

"Convenience store robber caught", it had been a week since Benji's odd mishaps. His mother now read the newspaper aloud to him as he lay on the couch half asleep "He was caught at road side shooting, he was trying to shoot a farmers cattle for what he says were 'Making too much noise.' Isn't that wonderful honey?" Benji was fast asleep and snoring loudly. His mom threw her news paper at him and stomped off. Benji rolled on his side, dropping the remote, turning on the TV to the parody- _O Brother Where art thou?_


End file.
